What I'm REALLY Thinking...

Sorry I haven't posted in a while! My retarded-ass internet has been acting up because my fatherly-figure changed his credit card and they couldn't withdraw tha cashio they needed. (ppsshh) But i found aloophole and i've decided to write while I have the time. YAY! I think this time, i'm going to have another one of my random moments....
I call this section...the... "What I'm REALLY thinking...."

Mom: "You don't post sultry pictures on the internet...do you? Can I trust you?"
Me: "Of course i don't! That's stupid and immature!"
What I'm REALLY thinking: "Okay...think about it... I'm not the most model-esque person out there... I'm pretty sure the only type of person that would actually want to see my white ass would be a 68-year-old nymphomaniac. Therefore, i see no point in posting those type of pictures anywhere on the internet."

random thought: psshh. being a teenager sucks ass. people say its the hormones that make people get depressed...but i honestly think its the situations people get into. I mean, you see bitch-ass chicks walking around like they own the world and they have no problems... Where are their hormones, eh?

Random person: "You okay? You seem sad...?"
Me: "Oh, i'm great. *smile* "
What I'm REALLY thinking: "I NEED MEDS. I'm sad, upset, and i really need a hug. Why do you THINK i feel sad, dumbass?! And what business do you have asking me if i feel bad?...like i would really tell a complete stranger all my problems...ppsshh..."

Person I know: "You okay? You see sad...?"
Me: "Oh, I'm great. *smile*"
What I'm REALLY thinking: "Ask again... then I'll know you're not just asking to be courteous... Then I may just tell you. Go ahead. Ask.... And if you respond wrong?...Well... You better hope I don't know where you live..."

Stalker: You're beautiful. I love you. You really need to say yes and go out with me.
Me: "I'm sorry... I'm waiting to date... And honestly, I think we're better off as friends..."
What I'm REALLY thinking: "OH HELL NO. Okay, for one... don't call me beautiful... my name is MARISSA. not beautiful.... Two.... You DON'T love me like that...You THINK you do...but you don't. :) ...and ya know... If I've said no...17 times....i think it may just mean no..."

My friend: "Theres a stranger in your house. WHAT. DO. YOU. DO.?"
Me: uuhh...uhh...uhh.... PANCAKE PROCEDURE!!
random person: "WTF are you guys talking about?"
Me: You don't even WANT TO KNOW what the pancake procedure is.....
What It REALLY means: The pancake procedure is a method for when an unknown being enters your house/home/place-that-you-live-in.... You hide in a dark corner..get in the fetal position...and rock back and forth... on every rock forward...say "pancakes" or the name of another delicious bread-like breakfast food (I.E.: Waffles, Brioche, or French Toast) and on ever rock backwards... scream loudly.... The burglar/being will most likely think they've broken into a totally screwed-up person's house...and they will leave.

And that, my readers, concludes my moment of "What I'm REALLY thinking"

Part of my will written to my friend Leia when I was completely drugged up on strong allergy medication: "...And send a letter to Bob Kringle Schwartzneeggeragratiz. Tell him 'The Bird has the Hamster in a headlock. Bring the celergy.' He'll know what it means."

What I sent to EVERYBODY in my phone while on my perscription-high:
"The names Bond.... James Bond.... HOO-HAA!"

What I sent to my friends Emily, Erik, and Leia...
"I was cold... So I turned on my heater... But then I got hot... So I turned it off and told it 'I'm sorry...for using you...' I then petted it and burnt my hand."

What. A. Night. Yep, that night was a night. A night that had a "What A" in front of it. THAT'S when you know it was really a night.

Don't drink and drive... Smoke and fly! ;)

I was watching that movie...ya know...the one with the guy... the guy who has the face and the eyes.... I'm pretty sure he had a nose too... yup, he definitely had a nose. It was a good movie. You should watch it..... So... Yeah. I hope that helped.

Yeehhhp. I"m tired now... so... Goodnight. ;) (and sorry about no song posts...but I haven't found anything particularly inspiring lately, so you can see my dilemma)

Marissa Is Out~!

~*MaRiSsA*~